The author of "Love and Logic" recommends we tell our kids what we hope they will do. At first I didn't like not telling my kids what to do, but I'm trying this technique with co-workers, husbands, and my parents and it seems to take the conflict out of their response. I didn't nag my husband about eating the chips, but said, "I hope you are eating healthy." His response was, "I ate really healthy this week and this is my one cheat." That was much more calm than if I said, "Don't eat that!"
Another phrase I'm trying is: Hmm, let's think that through. I often respond to a suggestion negatively. My parents responded negatively to my suggestions, so I didn't tell them my ideas any more. I hope I can train myself to say this phrase while my kids are young so they will talk to me as teens. Tonight my daughter said, "I want something to eat," while we were in the car. I said, "Let's think that through." She said, "I'll make a burrito when we get home." Wow! No argument! I didn't have to act bossy either. Please add your conflict-free phrases as a comment. Thanks!
To use tabs, please use full web version. I believe the goal of parenting is to give my children the skills to become self-sufficient physically, socially, and spiritually. As I try a new technique I ask myself, is this teaching my child how to make good choices? Is she learning to ask God what the correct choice is? My goal is that my girls will be able to fully function as God's servants and become strong leaders for positive change.
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