What is success? A successful organization focuses on 4 things 1) the Physical: results of the child becoming a responsible adult. 2) the Mental: growth of their individual talents. 3) the Social: developing a relationship with my child such that they want to maintain it after reaching adulthood. 4) the Spiritual: the child has a sense of purpose for their life and are actively seeking to find their role in the greater good.
Being a parent is the most important role one can have. The family is the basic unit of society. Often parents follow the style that their parents used or else they do the complete opposite. Since my parents already had opposite parenting styles, I was able to observe that neither one acheived the level of success I want for my family. My goal is to learn and use parenting techniques that can be passed down to my grandchildren.
Parenting an infant is one of the hardest things anyone can do. Sleep deprived, everything is difficult. When children get to that dreaded phase the "terrible two's" everything changes. It is no longer the physical work that seems complicated, but the training. Now the teaching of obedience really begins. By this point they should have learned to trust their parents. Now we add respecting authority as the primary focus. Parents should set rules that are reasonable and consequences to match. For me I try using words to convince the child, then "Time-out" for 10 seconds, and then moving toward a true "consequence". I believe spankings are appropriate for young children who are acting disrespectful, defiant, or doing something unsafe like touching a hot stove. The important thing to be careful of is not spanking out of anger. The other difficulty I see is switching from punitive to non-punitive discipline as the child gets older.
As kids mature the focus changes from obeying authority to making commitments and honoring them. As children get to this older stage, parents need to talk to their kids and discuss rules all can agree upon. Children become part of the decision-making process. Their values and goals are respected as parents take the time to listen to them. Often the consequences are a natural result of their actions.
Many parenting approaches do not take into account a shift in parenting styles with the maturity of the child. Life is constantly changing and parenting changes too. Good luck with this most important, as well as most rewarding, job!
To use tabs, please use full web version. I believe the goal of parenting is to give my children the skills to become self-sufficient physically, socially, and spiritually. As I try a new technique I ask myself, is this teaching my child how to make good choices? Is she learning to ask God what the correct choice is? My goal is that my girls will be able to fully function as God's servants and become strong leaders for positive change.
