The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This book is a life-changing one especially in the area of communication. Although the first half, which discussed self-improvement, improved my understanding of what I can do to achieve my goals, the second half will affect every future conversation I have. I have tried to help my family members by teaching them the skills of self-improvement, but now I see that some of them are more affected by creative synergy. In essence I have been trying to teach them how to design a backyard landscape, when all they want me to teach them is how to build a fence. Until I can listen and validate their current goals, I will never be able to affect their perspective and vision of other goals. I will seek to rephrase their statements including the feelings I sense. When I show true concern for their feelings, my relationships will grow. My job now is to fully commit to wanting a better relationship with my friends and family.

Humble Spouse

My husband decided to teach me to pour honey on my toast. Of course I feel confident that I don't need help but my pride turned into anger and I told him he just pointed out my stupidity. I want to try being more humble by saying "That is a good way, but I don't have the energy to learn something new right now. Sorry." Now I've come up with a chart for how I could choose to take his advice and a seperate chart for how to nicely tell him the way he is suggesting will not work for me.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

LDS.org - Family Chapter Detail - The Family:A Proclamation to the World I noticed Dr. Laura echoed the fact that the American Heart Association did a study that showed women who took on high stress business jobs had a higher heart attack rate than men in these positions, but more interesting is that men who were stay at home dads had an 82% higher 10 year death rate than other men. I guess gender roles really are by divine design!

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

by Dr Laura Schlessinger. This book gave a lot of examples of people who wrote in or called expressing frustration or joy in their marriage. It gave me a greater respect for my husband who wants what is best for me and my family. It also gave me some areas to work on, such as allowing my husband to get his needs met and politely asking him to do the same. I love that Dr. Laura was not afraid to speak honestly about the feminists who want everything, but are not willing to give anything in return. I highly recommend this book! Your husband will love it too.

Communicating

I have been focusing on better communication in my marriage, but I think this might work with everyone. 1. Stick to the topic. Don't argue about 10 things at once. Focus on 1 thing. 2. Be clear and specific about needs and wants. 3. Express how I feel. When I put an emotion with my request it has more impact. 4. Explain why I do things the way I do them. Usually I'm afraid that if I tell others why I do something I will be judged. That probably came from my upbringing. Often when I explain why, I get a suggestion that actually works!

The Power of a Praying Wife by Omartian

This book was very helpful to me in understanding some of my husband's needs and that through prayer God may inspire me or those around me to strengthen him to be a better person. I highly recommend this and her other book about the Praying Parent.

Leadership

It occurred to me that as a woman I rely on my husband to be the leader of the family, but if I want to motivate family members in a positive way, I need to work on my leadership skills. It turns out, even Biblical women need to be strong leaders in the home. I haven't found any books on female leadership within marriage. If anyone finds one, please comment to this post!