To use tabs, please use full web version. I believe the goal of parenting is to give my children the skills to become self-sufficient physically, socially, and spiritually. As I try a new technique I ask myself, is this teaching my child how to make good choices? Is she learning to ask God what the correct choice is? My goal is that my girls will be able to fully function as God's servants and become strong leaders for positive change.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Finding a Trusted Parenting Source
As a new parent the first thing we feel is anxiety to do everything right. We seek advice from every direction. Then we start to resent advice because the opinions we hear are so different. We try to go with our gut, but even that doesn't seem very concrete. Now that my children are toddler and preschool age, I have found the sources I trust. Step one is identify your parenting style. It helps to look at your parents' styles too. Next we look at our childrens' personalities. Finally, we look at which parenting styles historically produce the best results. For more ideas on which parenting styles historically produce the best results, read Kevin Hinckley's book about the Strong-willed Child.
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The simplest way to categorize parenting styles is Very Strict, Just Right, and Too Lenient. In the Love and Logic books it talks about helicopter moms who hover around the kid taking care of all problems. Their idea of the perfect parent it called a consultant parent who gives recommendations and allows consequences to teach the child. I will try to identify the place I feel each author rates on the continuum. I lean toward the helicopter mom myself, but am aware of the dangers of this. My favorite so far have been Kevin Hinkley (only 1 book and includes quotes from the Book of Mormon), Love and Logic (which has no references to God or following the Spirit), and Kevin Leman (Christian author I saw parenting videos).
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ReplyDeleteThe books I feel are too authoritarian but the techniques work for young children are: John Rosemond (my friend loves all the blogs, etc.)and "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp (so highly recommended by Christians). I think these techniques will work if your daily relationship with your child is rock solid. I want my kids to learn to be independent thinkers and I fear this style puts me into 1 approval 2 disapproval comments ratio and lower income level thinking. We daily say, "think, think" to our kids and praise them for good planning skills even if the outcome is less than perfect.
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