Tantrums and Apologies

My daughter is 3, so I forget that she is still a toddler. Her temper-tantrums hide in the disguise of disagreement. I thought if we could just resolve the problem with her sister she would stop pulling hair and hitting. Now I see that she she needs more than a 10 second time-out as a consequence. I forgot that she needs to get it all out, but she should do it in her room or a special spot instead of disrupting our activities all the time. She was in control of my life. Now I can take back control in a positive way. After her tantrum is over, I started a 2 minute Time-Out, which I frowned upon with my older child.  It seems my younger child is more of a thinker and needs some think time before coming back to play.

Discipline 101

This wonderful list is hidden in the middle of the book “Parenting with Love & Logic”, pg 148! These are suggestions for K-1 graders:

1. Avoid physical tussles with your kid.

2 & 3. Use orders sparingly. Say, “I wish you would” instead.

4. Give “I messages” to tell why you feel that way.

5. Sometimes thank the child in advance anticipating compliance.

6. Talk about feelings or expectations when a child is in a good mood.

7. Change location or separate child instead of trying to stop behavior.

8. Be emotional when things are done right! Be non-emotional when things are done poorly.

9. If you can’t deal with the situation, delay your reaction and get help finding the right consequence.

Potty Training

Wow! We are so excited! Yesterday our 2 year old went potty in the morning before she came downstairs. It was the first time without help! Later she pooped in the potty without help at naptime! We took a picture of her standing next to the potty. My sister has a daughter the same age and mentioned her daughter goes in her diaper before she wakes up. I just have my girl sit on the potty every morning whether she needs to go or not. When she takes her diaper off around the house we sing a song to the tune "London Bridges" and the words "Take your diaper off in the bathroom, in the bathroom...Little Girl." Potty training is a slow step-by-step process in which she has to learn to go on command, pull off the right amount of toilet paper, flush, pull up pants. Just stopping peeing in the diaper and finishing in the potty is a great step!

Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld

I have now started adding pureed vegetables into all kinds of recipes from pizza crust to smoothies! I normally don't cook, but I can buy a box of cake mix for instance and add sweet potato before I put it in the oven. Simple! And it takes away guilt from so much carbs.

Introducing a New Toy

When my first daughter was little I would try to teach her how to use a new toy. Now I allow her to explore it her own way. I rediscovered this while teaching her to decorate with icing. After trying to show her, I gave her a picture with wax paper on top and a bag of icing and let her go.  It was great!

New Rules

What better place to learn parenting than from God. In Moses chapter 5:6 it says, "And after many days an angel of the Lord appeared unto Adam saying: why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not save the Lord commanded me. I usually wait until I can explain a rule before I give the rule, but that is backwards. How do you present a new rule? Sometimes I wait until the negative consequence has been experience to give the new rule.

Einstein Never Used Flash Cards

By Hirsh-Pasek & Golinkoff This book has amazing data! It shows child development and the data that backs up their suggested techniques. It even clarifies studies that are often quoted by the media. The techniques are simple to use ways to educate by age. Interesting: a professional family hears 6 affirmations to 1 disapproval, working class hears 2 affirmations to 1 disapproval, and welfare homes hear 1 affirmation to 2 disapproval! Wow! The power of the self-fulfilling prophecy!

Finding a Trusted Parenting Source

As a new parent the first thing we feel is anxiety to do everything right. We seek advice from every direction. Then we start to resent advice because the opinions we hear are so different. We try to go with our gut, but even that doesn't seem very concrete. Now that my children are toddler and preschool age, I have found the sources I trust. Step one is identify your parenting style. It helps to look at your parents' styles too. Next we look at our childrens' personalities. Finally, we look at which parenting styles historically produce the best results. For more ideas on which parenting styles historically produce the best results, read Kevin Hinckley's book about the Strong-willed Child.