I wanted to share my thoughts on this. Prideful vs Humble Phrases:
Leader: (Prideful) You’re too stupid, let me do it! I can't work with you!
(Humble) It may not come out perfect, but give it a try.
Listener: (Prideful) That’s a stupid way to do it! You're on your own!
(Humble) I hope that works out for you. Did you think about this?
Follower: (Prideful) I’m not stupid! I can do it! I can do it alone.
(Humble) Do you have any suggestions? My way isn’t working/could be better.
It looks like pride separates people and keeps them from working together, growing as one body of
Christ.
Prideful people organize others into categories of dumb and smart.
Humble people organize others into categories of degrees of mastery and understands that we are all
working at different levels for our various intelligences. My dad thinks his worthiness is static and he isn’t
good enough. If he isn’t trying, he isn’t improving. Someone we know lacks confidence, but she
used to be different. In some areas she isn’t progressing, she’s regressing. A friend said: why didn’t you put your kids in a preschool? Instead of judging, she could have asked me what I was thinking when I made that choice.
I hope this is useful to you. It's easy to see where I can improve.
To use tabs, please use full web version. I believe the goal of parenting is to give my children the skills to become self-sufficient physically, socially, and spiritually. As I try a new technique I ask myself, is this teaching my child how to make good choices? Is she learning to ask God what the correct choice is? My goal is that my girls will be able to fully function as God's servants and become strong leaders for positive change.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Taming the Spirited Child
My daughter Stacy likes to play barbies, but wants to tell me who to be and what to say. I was so annoyed I had to stop playing with her for a while. I discovered the book Taming the Spirited Child has a list of ways to play with such a child, some of which I hadn't tried for a while. I also liked the "palms up" technique. I've started doing less bossing and more asking what my child could do in a situation, but I like the signal of putting my palms up when I switch from telling to asking. I also liked helping the child discuss feelings, since this is huge for my daughter. For anger it uses a visualization of a hot stove. There's a different one for older kids too. Another tool I want to try from this book is to create an imaginary reality when she wants something she can't have. Yesterday she asked to go to Disney World tomorrow, but I didn't know how to create an imaginary reality. I'll have to practice I guess. The last big ah-ha in this book was the description of a strong-willed child: CAPPS. Curious, adventurous, powerful, persistent, and sensitive. I sure wish my mom knew about this description when raising my sister. I bet she would have give in to her less if she knew what she was up against. I hope I can handle my CAPPS daughter well over the next 18 years!
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