To use tabs, please use full web version. I believe the goal of parenting is to give my children the skills to become self-sufficient physically, socially, and spiritually. As I try a new technique I ask myself, is this teaching my child how to make good choices? Is she learning to ask God what the correct choice is? My goal is that my girls will be able to fully function as God's servants and become strong leaders for positive change.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Chores by age from Focus on the Family
Here's another great resource for what chores your child can do. I often forget to bring the chores up to the next level. I remember feeling that things were unfair as a child, but now that I think of it, my younger siblings had to do chores at a younger age than I did. I still feel that the money was given unequally to the younger kids. I guess I should have whined more! Seriously though, I want to try making things as fair as possible for my kids by following trusted lists such as this one on age-appropriate chores.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Enforceable Statements
Enforceable Statements: "Parenting with Love & Logic," Appendix B has a list of common situations with an appropriate enforceable statement.
Parents usually say: Don’t touch that! To make it an enforceable statement say: “Kids get to ______ when they do __(the opposite of what they are not supposed to do)__.” One example, as long as it isn’t something dangerous which would require immediate action, we can say: “Kids get to keep playing who keep their hands clean.” I actually say mine the other way around, I say: "When you do ____, you get to _______.
Parents usually say: Don’t touch that! To make it an enforceable statement say: “Kids get to ______ when they do __(the opposite of what they are not supposed to do)__.” One example, as long as it isn’t something dangerous which would require immediate action, we can say: “Kids get to keep playing who keep their hands clean.” I actually say mine the other way around, I say: "When you do ____, you get to _______.
Discipline 101
This wonderful list is hidden in the middle of the book “Parenting with Love & Logic”, pg 148! These are suggestions for K-1 graders:
1. Avoid physical tussles with your kid.
2 & 3. Use orders sparingly. Say, “I wish you would” instead.
4. Give “I messages” to tell why you feel that way.
5. Sometimes thank the child in advance anticipating compliance.
6. Talk about feelings or expectations when a child is in a good mood.
7. Change location or separate child instead of trying to stop behavior.
8. Be emotional when things are done right! Be non-emotional when things are done poorly.
9. If you can’t deal with the situation, delay your reaction and get help finding the right consequence.
1. Avoid physical tussles with your kid.
2 & 3. Use orders sparingly. Say, “I wish you would” instead.
4. Give “I messages” to tell why you feel that way.
5. Sometimes thank the child in advance anticipating compliance.
6. Talk about feelings or expectations when a child is in a good mood.
7. Change location or separate child instead of trying to stop behavior.
8. Be emotional when things are done right! Be non-emotional when things are done poorly.
9. If you can’t deal with the situation, delay your reaction and get help finding the right consequence.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Keepsake Calendar
I loved using a keepsake calendar (which comes in 3 colors) instead of a memory book or journal. I simply couldn't keep up with the journaling I had done only days before the baby was born. To open a book was too much, but to have a calendar by the changing table was so easy! Great baby shower gift!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Too Much TV
I've struggled with TV lately and tried a ticket system which I've abandoned and plan to try again later. With 1 child napping and the older one, Stacy, waiting for her to wake up, I don't know what to do with her! So we switched from TV to computer games. I have discovered that computer games don't affect her as negatively as watching TV. She doesn't become as defiant or zoned out of reality. I felt horrible about allowing Stacy to play on the computer for 2 or more hours while her sister Emma sleeps. I also only allow her to play games that have an educational or social aspect. Once she's on it's difficult to get her off, so the new rule is she has to stop when her sister wakes up and Stacy can't start until after 20 minutes of quality time with me. She gets to pick between reading or Wii Sport. So far she chooses reading every time! I keep following the same trick of requiring some task before she gets the reward. I do that with eating as well. After she eats all her food groups she gets the desert.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Family: A Proclamation to the World
LDS.org - Family Chapter Detail - The Family:A Proclamation to the World I noticed Dr. Laura echoed the fact that the American Heart Association did a study that showed women who took on high stress business jobs had a higher heart attack rate than men in these positions, but more interesting is that men who were stay at home dads had an 82% higher 10 year death rate than other men. I guess gender roles really are by divine design!
What Happens When Women Say Yes to God
I read this a while ago, but it still imacts my life. I continually listen for that still small voice to guide me each day and it has done amazing things! I wanted to sign my girls up for gymnastics or other classes and got the answer to wait. I hate to wait, but God doesn't make mistakes. Now I see that by waiting I had time to dabble in some old hobbies which may turn into a miraculous work for abused children! I wrote a song long ago that would make a perfect theme song for the local Children's Advocacy Center. All my life I've wanted to make a difference. Sitting in a stinky gym never would have given me the joy this project has brought me. I'm sure my kids will someday understand my ignoring them for a few hours.
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